Category: CBT

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“Tools for Better Living”: 6 English Speaking Coaching Sessions for Expats in Stockholm and across Sweden

This fall I’m offering a flexible course that combines both coaching and counselling in a short series of consultations. These sessions are designed specifically for expats and other English speakers seeking direction. Are you looking for some tools for dealing with change or adjustment? Interested in taking a series of sessions to kick-start your motivation? Read on!

Those of us who have been expats in Stockholm for a number of years know the winters can be tough. Swedes know it too and, although most of them have grown up with the darkness and cold that comes with a Swedish winter, many still struggle. Whether you are in your first few years of living in Scandinavia, or you have lived here all your life, there is good sense in using the autumn to prepare psychologically and emotionally for what is to come.

6 Sessions of Coaching or Counselling, 5 Suggested Themes

This series combines the approaches of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Narrative Therapy, Motivational Interviewing, Life Coaching, Relaxation Strategies, Skills Training (including Stress Management and Communication Training) and Mindfulness. I’ve based it around a presentation of the most common psychological tools I use in my practice but will tailor it to suit your circumstances.

My approach is based on the idea that, through conversation based meetings, we develop ideas and strategies together that neither one of us might have envisaged using before. In this way, you bring your skills and knowledge as a contribution to the sessions and I also introduce theories and tools as possibilities for you to start using. Of course all the sessions and everything you say to me is confidential.

The plan below is a guide only and we can modify it according to your needs.

Want to know more already? Email me!

#1   Who Am I?

Our sense of identity can be quite important to how we manage in new situations or cope with change. Who are you and what has contributed to your sense of yourself, particularly since you moved to Sweden?

The first appointment is a kind of assessment where together we discuss what you would like to cover in the course of sessions and share whatever aspects of your story you would like to tell me. You also have the opportunity to ask me any questions you would like answered. At the end of the session I can give you an interesting identity-based task to take away and complete in your own time, if you like. ‘Homework’ is always optional. Some people want it and some don’t, so you can make the choice.

If you would like to know more about me in advance, read the About Ash Rehn page on this website. And I welcome you to contact me prior to the session if you would like to know anything more about me. It is important that we can work together and for you to feel a sense of comfort during our meetings.

#2   Recovering Energy, Motivation and Establishing Routines

It is not unusual for people to want to meet with a coach or therapist when they are at, or have been at, a low ebb. I’m used to seeing people struggling with motivation, lacking energy or feeling like they have failed. At the same time, it is not always that way. It can be more like chaos that needs sorting out. So part of our work together might be looking at what you want or what you appreciate about your life or what you need. Sometimes this involves considering your ‘vision’ for life. Sometimes people feel stuck, sometimes they feel lost, sometimes they just want me to help them sort through ‘stuff’ or ‘issues’. Whatever the case is, we can discuss it together.

#3   Managing Stress, Coping and Empowerment Strategies

How you deal with change often depends on your past experiences, the techniques you have learned or the resources you have at hand. In our sessions we can consider the skills you are using now as well as what you might need to recover or discover. If you are caught in some Mind Traps (cognitive distortions in thinking) we can identify these and determine alternative psychological strategies to help you escape or re-establish balance. I can also show you some physical practices you can use at any time to reduce anxiety and your stress response.

#4   Career / Relationships / Friendships / Family: Planning and Goal Setting

Would you like to show me what your life looks like now and what your ideal life would be? Often this can be a way of envisaging the future as well. Collaborative consultations can offer the first steps forward to making changes across a number of the aspects of our lives. Together we can explore changes you want to make in any or all of these areas and what might be required for moving forward. It tends to be much easier to do this in collaboration.

#5   Improved Communication for Relationships

Frustration and Anger are two of the most common emotions I discuss with people who meet me in Stockholm or online. If our needs are not being met, we can find our emotions about certain events and incidents spilling into other aspects of our life. And that affects our relationships. Taking an alternative approach to your standard way of communicating is one way to lower the frustration you are experiencing. I can show you some other possibilities and we can practice these in the sessions.

#6   Awareness, Acknowledgement, Acceptance and Building Resilience

It is not generally possible to change everything overnight. Meeting and having a conversation about what concerns you can also be a way of tapping into some other perspectives. Part of this work is about holding onto what you have learned or discovered. Part of the coaching can even include awareness-building techniques like Mindfulness. In these 6 sessions, I offer a start to a process that can take you in new directions. You might decide to continue with something new we discover together during our work or you might even decide to continue with me. With your permission, I will follow up by email at least twice over the 2 months following the series. If you want to continue, we can discuss the possibilities to keep going, what you have achieved and what might remain outstanding.

Pay as You Go or Save with a Package of Sessions

This flexible course is offered as pay as you go or you can receive 6 sessions for the cost of 5 if you pre-pay the series. You can attend just the first session and decide if you want to continue with no obligation to pay for more. You are welcome to decide a few days after the first appointment whether you want to pay for the whole series or pay as you go. I do ask for a deposit of 200 crowns for the first appointment but you have 7 days from the session to pay for the balance. Please contact me for further details of the fee.

No Guarantees or False Promises, but Possibilities, Opportunities and Open Dialogue

It would be quite unethical of me to make false promises about how successful this short series of appointments will be for you, particularly when I have not yet met you. So I don’t offer a guarantee that you will achieve everything you ever hoped for in just 6 sessions. But I do offer to be fully present with you for the sessions and to work collaboratively with you in ways you find comfortable.

It is my professional experience that once people start talking, what they are struggling with often changes or even dissolves. It does not happen at the same pace for everyone, but making a start will give you a better understanding of what might be required. I have chosen a framework of 6 sessions as many people find this is just enough to launch them into self-sufficiency. The relief of talking to a professional in a confidential setting can be influential, as can the possibilities for dialogue, acknowledgement, exploration and even confession.

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Ash Rehn QindsmBook Now to Secure Appointment Times

  • A limited number of these sessions are now available daytimes and evenings during September and October.
  • Sessions are available both in-person ‘face to face’ in Stockholm and ‘face to face’ by Skype webcam (or audio-only if you prefer).
  • Possibilities for continuing include the option of email counselling once the course is concluded.

Make an enquiry about available times and fees now through my contact page.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Ash Rehn BSocWk, MA, MAASW (acc.)

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10 Questions to Ask Your Prospective Counsellor or Therapist Who Works In English

Questions for Therapists

Have you reached a turning point in your life and want to find therapy in English?

Do you need counselling for relationship issues, stress or a break-up?

Or would you like to find an English speaking coach to improve life generally?

Here are ten important questions to ask your prospective counsellor or therapist. I’ve provided my own answers to give you a sense of where I fit according to these criteria:

1. How long was your therapy training?

My therapy training commenced when I started training as a counsellor in 1989 and it has not stopped since! Over the last 20+ years I have undertaken Bachelors and Masters degrees in Social Work, specialist narrative psychotherapy training through the Dulwich Centre in Adelaide, Australia and completed many short courses and workshops in a range of therapeutic approaches. These include CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy), mindfulness, psycho-education (including motivational interviewing), stress management, relaxation strategies, problem solving, anger management, therapy for adult survivors of child abuse and couples counselling.

A good therapist does not stop his or her education simply when a qualification is achieved. Professional development must be ongoing. Each year I attend a number of training activities and conferences and regularly share the outcomes of these with my clients.

2. Under which title, coach, counsellor or psychotherapist would you be allowed to work in your own country?

In both Australia and England, I am allowed to use all 3 of these titles: coach, counsellor and psychotherapist. In Sweden the title ‘psychotherapist’ (or psykoterapeut in Swedish) is a protected title and only practitioners licensed by the Swedish National Health and Welfare Authority – Socialstyrelsen – can use that title. I have not applied to be licensed as a psychotherapist in Sweden and instead refer to myself as a samtalsterapeut (counsellor) or narrative therapist in my work. Psychotherapist training in Sweden is limited to certain methods or approaches and applicants for a Swedish license must demonstrate compliance with particularly Swedish requirements. I have found that most of the people who meet with me are far more interested in the benefits of a therapist who speaks their language and understands their culture than they are in meeting with someone who fits precise Swedish requirements or works through the Swedish healthcare system.

3. How often do you have supervision?

I generally attend supervision at least twice a month and my commitment to supervision meets the recommendations of the AASW and BACP. Supervision for counsellors and therapists is not the same as supervision in a management situation. It means something completely different. It is about discussing professional issues in a structured way and ensuring the counsellor or therapist is taking care of their own well-being. It helps counsellors, psychotherapists, psychologists and social workers ensure their integrity and ethical practice. Counsellors and therapists in private practice will generally be paying for private supervision from a more or equally experienced person. I have such an arrangement with a more experienced practitioner and also engage in regular peer supervision with colleagues.

4. How long have you been practising?

I began practicing as a counsellor in 1989 and have worked across the community, government and private sectors over the years. Since 2005 I have been specialising in mental health counselling and therapy. I commenced private practice as a therapist and mental health counsellor in 2008.

5. What is your theoretical approach?

My practice is informed by a range of theoretical approaches. When undertaking advanced therapeutic work with people, it tends not to be helpful to be limited to a singular technique or method. In Sweden, counselling and therapy is dominated by Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT or KBT) and Psychoanalysis but there are many other ways of working together if these do not appeal to you. I am particularly drawn to dialogical and narrative practices and the work of a number of well-known therapists including Harlene Anderson, Johnella Bird, Art Fisher, David Epston, Michael White. If you would like more information about these approaches, I would be happy to send you some links if you email me for details.

6. Do you offer a 50 or a 60 minute hour?

My standard appointments are 60 minutes but longer appointments (75 minutes or longer) can easily be negotiated. I generally leave at least 15 minutes between appointments and, if I have more time available, I usually don’t mind if we continue a little longer if it is helpful to you.

7. What do the initials behind your name actually mean?

Currently the initials after my name are: BSocWk, MA, MAASW (acc.). They stand for Bachelor of Social Work, Master of Arts and Member of the Australian Association of Social Workers (accredited).

8. Are you an accredited member of a professional organisation?

Yes, as above, I am an accreditated member of the AASW in Australia. This accreditation means I have a qualification awarded by a professional association as a specialist mental health provider and can offer focussed psychological services under the Australian government Medicare program when I am meeting with clients in Australia (similar to the services provided by psychologists that are reimbursed by the government there). The AASW supports my practice in Europe and represents my professional interests, however unfortunately Medicare will not reimburse appointment fees unless we meet in Australia.

9. Do you have insurance?

Yes, I hold both professional indemnity and public liability insurance.

10. Are you registered for tax in Sweden?

Yes, I am fully registered with Skatteverket, the Swedish tax authority and required to invoice moms (consumption tax) on my services in Sweden. If you require your invoice made out to a particular company name, please advise me in advance.

Extra question: How old are you?

Some people want to know how old I am and I am quite open about my age. I was born in 1969 so at the time of writing this, I am 43 years old.

You can read more on the About Ash Rehn page. If you are interested in making an appointment, please contact me by email or phone. I’m happy to answer any further questions you might have.

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Life Coaching in English to Turn Your (Swedish) Life Around

motivation and life coaching in Sweden 2013

Not adjusting to life in Sweden? Worried about your mental health? Can’t concentrate and think you have ADD or ADHD? Struggling with the winter? Don’t let the darkness, Snökaos (snow chaos) or winter blues drive you to depression. Whether you choose to do it in-person or by webcam, you might just need a few sessions of life coaching to get back on track.

Here’s how therapy and life coaching with an English speaking coach and counsellor might make a difference to life in Sweden.

Bollplank, Sounding Board or Reflective Surface

Talking with your partner sometimes is not enough. Sometimes we are just too close to someone to offer a different perspective and it can seem like a lot of pressure if a sambo, husband or wife is the only one to talk with. The Swedes have an expression ‘bollplank’ which in English is akin to ‘sounding board’, someone or something we can throw our thoughts against to test them out. (Literally it is a plank of wood for kicking footballs against). In my work I call it the Reflective Surface.

There are many ways to employ a reflective surface: some people keep a journal or diary, video blog, artwork, cooking, craft… In fact any activity that combines structure and imagination with a product can provide a means to reflect your identity and ideas back to you in a positive, affirming way that supports change. A conversation can also be a reflective surface. In my office I use a whiteboard which is a literal reflective surface and sometimes I use it to hold onto the expressions or words that come up in a session. But even without the whiteboard, meeting with a coach serves the same ends because you hear yourself saying things and the coach can hold onto your words and ask you about them. A life coach can help with:

  • Sharing what has been happening
  • Working out what is important
  • Making goals
  • Following through with intentions
  • Acknowledging and celebrating progress.

If everything seems to be going well for your partner but not for you, don’t take it out on your sambo. Make it you New Years Resolution to get your own ‘bollplank’ and let the relationship be what it should be.

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)

A lot of people approach me thinking they have ADHD because they can’t concentrate at home or work, or both. And there is a lot of discussion at the moment about ADHD, particularly in Sweden where there is a huge expectation that people are on time, focussed and ‘get with the program’. The norms of behaviour in Sweden are very influential. If you have seen preschoolers being marched around the city in pairs, you will get what I mean. This is a society where, to a large extent, cooperation and compliance are unspoken rules. I mention this because it is important to understand that cultural influence and social expectations can play a part in how we feel and how quickly we adjust.

But difficulty concentrating can also be a symptom of depression. When we feel low, unmotivated, frustrated or insignificant, it can be harder to stay on task. In a way this is our instinct or animal side at work, trying to get our bodies moving again. Movement and exercise to treat Depression has been recommended.

Here are some other signs and symptoms that you might not be alright:

  • You are spending all day inside and not going out at all
  • Mood swings or constant irritability
  • Feeling like a zombie or not feeling anything at all
  • Eating constantly and more than you need to (or a loss of appetite)
  • Drinking alcohol everyday or most days on your own
  • Not engaging with friends
  • Ruminating thoughts, ‘overthinking’ and dwelling on failure
  • Less attention to self care or neglecting basic hygiene (not showering, brushing teeth or changing clothes)

The good news is that you don’t necessarily need a psychologist or to go on medication simply because some of these are present. The benefit of working with me is you can tell your friends / family / sambo that you are seeing a coach for adjusting to life in Sweden. You can even meet me online, over webcam or for instant message counselling if you don’t want to take on the snökaos or you are living in Uppsala, Västerås, Nyköping or otherwise on the outskirts of Stockholm. Likewise if you are in Malmö, Gothenburg or Umeå or somewhere more remote, online coaching means you save the travelling time and can get help from the warmth and comfort of your own home.

Of course, if you are at any serious risk or your health is deteriorating quickly, you should not hesitate to consult a GP.

From Therapy for Depression or Adjustment to Coaching for Life Goals

When life seems to be stuck or falling apart, it can help to talk it over, make a plan and have someone to engage with and help you to monitor progress. A lot of people start to meet with me for therapy around a particular issue and end up feeling better to the point that our sessions become more about coaching and moving forward. Recently I have been speaking with people about:

If you have found me through ForwardTherapy.se price and cost of coaching might not be your main concern. You are probably more interested in finding a professional who understands what you are going through and offers the advantage of sessions in English. But just send me an email (preferred) or call and leave a message for a callback if you would like more information about my fees and payment options.

Engelsktalande Samtalsterapeut (English Speaking Counsellor): A Word For Spouses and Sambos

If you think your partner, wife or husband might benefit from coaching, kognitiv beteende terapi / cognitive behaviour therapy with an english speaking coach (kbt på engelska) or just a bollplank with someone other than yourself, feel free to send me an enquiry. I am used to working with people in relationships where one partner is struggling with culture or climate or relocation adjustment and there is some conflict in the relationship as a result. There is more information here på svenska.

Next year I will be relocating my office from Kungsholmen to Södermalm in Stockholm. But you can make a start now and put yourself on a better track for 2013. Start making your New Years Resolutions.

Write to me and I will send you full details of availability, fees and answer any questions you have. Please let me know if you prefer in-person (face to face in Stockholm) or online consultations.

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Therapy for a Broken Heart, Separation or Relationship Breakdown

woman looking over mountains

How do you overcome a relationship breakup?

Dealing with heartache. Coping with rejection. Recovering after splitting up. These are subjects about which I am regularly consulted as an English speaking therapist in Stockholm. And I wish there was a simple solution that worked for everyone. The good news is that most people find it helps to talk over matters of the heart. It’s even better when the person you are talking to really listens and asks some questions or offers some perspectives you hadn’t thought about before.

Whether you have left a long term relationship or are struggling after a series of short romances that went bad, sharing the hurt and making sense of it can be part of getting your life back together.

More information about separation counselling in Stockholm or online

The Shock and Pain of Separation

How long does it take to heal from a separation?

There are no rules about the time it takes to recover from splitting up. In these situations it can help to throw out expectations about what is normal. Maybe you are dealing with loneliness or emotional pain and looking for coping strategies. And it can help to have some of these if you want to keep working, you have children to care for or you are just trying to hold your life together! But my experience is that coping techniques work best when they are adapted for each person. If they were the same for everyone, it would be easier to read a self-help book than see a relationship therapist.

“Ja visst gör det ont när knoppar brister”  Karin Boye, Swedish poet

A Coffee and a Chat, A Walking Companion or Making a Game Plan

Private counselling is an opportunity to speak in confidentiality about things that you might not be ready to tell anyone else.

The same approach to counselling or therapy doesn’t work for everyone. All kinds of people come to see me to discuss their relationship breakdowns – engineers, creatives, lawyers, psychologists, business people, researchers, teachers, athletes – and they are at all different places in terms of separating from their partners. Some people want advice about dating, some ask for CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy). Some are fine to talk (and sometimes cry) over a cup of tea or coffee. Others want to make a game plan about their recovery and I have a whiteboard in my room we can use for that purpose (you can even take a photo of it at the end of the session). And if you don’t feel like sitting still, you don’t have to; we can take a walk together and talk in the fresh air. I also work over webcam, so we can meet in Stockholm or online from wherever you are in Sweden or elsewhere in the world. My approach to talk therapy is flexible and responsive to the circumstances you bring to the consultation and your personal preference for the appointment.

Don’t let doubt or indecision stop you considering your options or getting your life back. Contact me now for more information about my fees and services.

Dealing with fears, feelings and emotions can be a collaborative process. Regardless of whether you have just separated from your sambo, are going through a divorce with your husband or wife, just adjusting to being on your own or ready to start dating again, conversations are therapeutic. Narrative Therapy offers an approach to talking about relationships that is quite unlike other therapy. People tell me that their friends always have advice but it is another thing altogether to confide in a therapist or work together to start feeling better.

If you are unsure, you are welcome to write to me using this email form, and ask me any questions. You can also call and leave a message on 08-559 22 636 if you would prefer to speak in person (let me know the best times to return your call). I look forward to hearing from you.