What’s the Purpose of Talk Therapy? 5 Different Reasons to Turn to Online Counselling.

Recently I was reflecting on all the requests I receive for online counselling, coaching and therapy. I’ve been providing therapy consultations over webcam and offering email counselling for several years now, and I’ve heard a diversity of hopes and expectations over that time. Here are some of them.

Strategies and Tools

One of the biggest reasons people contact me is to ask for ‘strategies’ or ‘tools’. The tools or strategies (or methods or approaches) they are seeking could be about improving confidence or happiness, better communication, managing mood (e.g. ‘anger management’) or coping with stress. You might have already tried some approaches you have read about or been told about previously but remain stuck or need some coaching. Or you might be looking to try something new. One size definitely does not fit all (even ‘CBT’ – cognitive behaviour therapy – can be many things to many people and, despite the claims, it doesn’t suit everyone). People sometimes arrive with an expectation that a therapist will fix or treat their mental health problem but generally the approach is collaborative: we treat it together, in cooperation.

Working Through Stuff (or working out stuff)

Life can be complicated. Self-help books only take us so far. But a conversation is dynamic and can take us therapeutically further than reading a book or doing the exercises it contains. When people talk with me about dealing with family relationships, for example, they sometimes need to modify the approach they have been reading about to suit what is happening at the time. Sexuality is another topic that can take some working out. Categories like ‘gay’ or ‘straight’ or ‘bisexual’ can seem very fixed at a time in one’s life when sexual identity is changing. Some dialogue can assist when working through our  relationship with our body, desires, public identity and the gender expectations of us. Talking about difficult topics can also make it easier for us to express ourselves. The useful thing about online counselling is that you have the option of requesting some notes from the session or you can exchange therapy emails as a way of holding onto your progress.

Interested in making an appointment to work out something? Click here to send an email.

Letting Go and Acceptance

When something changes, like a relationship or job or even something to do with our bodies such as an illness or disability, the adjustment can take time. We can benefit from some therapeutic conversations. Some people describe this as ‘grieving’ but this word might not fit for everyone. In seeking resolution, counselling can take an interesting turn. For instance, when someone special or close to us passes, we might be thinking of meeting with a counsellor as part of ‘letting go’. However I often find the counselling process leads people to start recovering their relationship with a loved one, and bereavement turns to remembering and holding the deceased close. With death as in life, there are many ways to resolution.

Getting a Sounding Board or Bollplank

When we are looking for answers, having someone experienced to help us ‘bounce around’ ideas, or ‘bollplanka‘ as the Swedes say, can be helpful. Many tell me that they are looking for someone impartial, unlike a friend or relative who might automatically side with them or play ‘devil’s advocate’. In a therapeutic relationship, it’s okay to ask for advice or reassurance. Counselling isn’t always about providing this, but even if it is not possible in a talk therapy appointment, we can explore what you are seeking and how you might get it professionally or on your own. Some people find that one or two webcam consultations are enough to find direction. Others meet with me regularly, like once a fortnight or once a month, simply because they find it helpful to throw around ideas before making decisions.

Making Changes in Life

Speaking of decisions, at certain times of life it can seem like we are at crossroads. Should I remain in the relationship or leave? Should I continue in Sweden or return home? Should I follow my career or take any job, just to earn some money / get into the society? People tell me that making personal changes can be easier when they hear some other perspectives. There are some stories I can share from those who have given me permission. But it is also helpful to explore the subject. Seeing our situations as ‘stay or go’ can produce more stress and often leaves it harder to make a decision about what to do. In this respect, the self-awareness and understanding we get from talking to someone else can open up the possibilities beyond what we had imagined prior to talk therapy.

Meeting for Talk Therapy Online

If you would like to meet online, there are several options available. Webcam conversations over Skype mean we can see and hear each other in real time. If you don’t have access to a computer or prefer not to be seen, you can choose telephone counselling if you don’t mind the additional cost of calling a Stockholm landline (I also have landlines based in London or Sydney, Australia you can call). Instant Message chat provides a slower, more reflective opportunity for meeting in real-time with the added benefit of not being seen or heard. It is entirely text-based conversation. Or, if you prefer to write in your own time, you can choose email counselling where you write me an email and I respond within 72 hours. You then receive an email you can keep referring back to in future.

For more information including my fees and availability, please contact me.

Did you think this was a useful post? Do me a favour and post it on Facebook or Tweet it on Twitter!

10 Questions to Ask Your Prospective Counsellor or Therapist Who Works In English

Questions for Therapists

Have you reached a turning point in your life and want to find therapy in English?

Do you need counselling for relationship issues, stress or a break-up?

Or would you like to find an English speaking coach to improve life generally?

Here are ten important questions to ask your prospective counsellor or therapist. I’ve provided my own answers to give you a sense of where I fit according to these criteria:

1. How long was your therapy training?

My therapy training commenced when I started training as a counsellor in 1989 and it has not stopped since! Over the last 20+ years I have undertaken Bachelors and Masters degrees in Social Work, specialist narrative psychotherapy training through the Dulwich Centre in Adelaide, Australia and completed many short courses and workshops in a range of therapeutic approaches. These include CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy), mindfulness, psycho-education (including motivational interviewing), stress management, relaxation strategies, problem solving, anger management, therapy for adult survivors of child abuse and couples counselling.

A good therapist does not stop his or her education simply when a qualification is achieved. Professional development must be ongoing. Each year I attend a number of training activities and conferences and regularly share the outcomes of these with my clients.

2. Under which title, coach, counsellor or psychotherapist would you be allowed to work in your own country?

In both Australia and England, I am allowed to use all 3 of these titles: coach, counsellor and psychotherapist. In Sweden the title ‘psychotherapist’ (or psykoterapeut in Swedish) is a protected title and only practitioners licensed by the Swedish National Health and Welfare Authority – Socialstyrelsen – can use that title. I have not applied to be licensed as a psychotherapist in Sweden and instead refer to myself as a samtalsterapeut (counsellor) or narrative therapist in my work. Psychotherapist training in Sweden is limited to certain methods or approaches and applicants for a Swedish license must demonstrate compliance with particularly Swedish requirements. I have found that most of the people who meet with me are far more interested in the benefits of a therapist who speaks their language and understands their culture than they are in meeting with someone who fits precise Swedish requirements or works through the Swedish healthcare system.

3. How often do you have supervision?

I generally attend supervision at least twice a month and my commitment to supervision meets the recommendations of the AASW and BACP. Supervision for counsellors and therapists is not the same as supervision in a management situation. It means something completely different. It is about discussing professional issues in a structured way and ensuring the counsellor or therapist is taking care of their own well-being. It helps counsellors, psychotherapists, psychologists and social workers ensure their integrity and ethical practice. Counsellors and therapists in private practice will generally be paying for private supervision from a more or equally experienced person. I have such an arrangement with a more experienced practitioner and also engage in regular peer supervision with colleagues.

4. How long have you been practising?

I began practicing as a counsellor in 1989 and have worked across the community, government and private sectors over the years. Since 2005 I have been specialising in mental health counselling and therapy. I commenced private practice as a therapist and mental health counsellor in 2008.

5. What is your theoretical approach?

My practice is informed by a range of theoretical approaches. When undertaking advanced therapeutic work with people, it tends not to be helpful to be limited to a singular technique or method. In Sweden, counselling and therapy is dominated by Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT or KBT) and Psychoanalysis but there are many other ways of working together if these do not appeal to you. I am particularly drawn to dialogical and narrative practices and the work of a number of well-known therapists including Harlene Anderson, Johnella Bird, Art Fisher, David Epston, Michael White. If you would like more information about these approaches, I would be happy to send you some links if you email me for details.

6. Do you offer a 50 or a 60 minute hour?

My standard appointments are 60 minutes but longer appointments (75 minutes or longer) can easily be negotiated. I generally leave at least 15 minutes between appointments and, if I have more time available, I usually don’t mind if we continue a little longer if it is helpful to you.

7. What do the initials behind your name actually mean?

Currently the initials after my name are: BSocWk, MA, MAASW (acc.). They stand for Bachelor of Social Work, Master of Arts and Member of the Australian Association of Social Workers (accredited).

8. Are you an accredited member of a professional organisation?

Yes, as above, I am an accreditated member of the AASW in Australia. This accreditation means I have a qualification awarded by a professional association as a specialist mental health provider and can offer focussed psychological services under the Australian government Medicare program when I am meeting with clients in Australia (similar to the services provided by psychologists that are reimbursed by the government there). The AASW supports my practice in Europe and represents my professional interests, however unfortunately Medicare will not reimburse appointment fees unless we meet in Australia.

9. Do you have insurance?

Yes, I hold both professional indemnity and public liability insurance.

10. Are you registered for tax in Sweden?

Yes, I am fully registered with Skatteverket, the Swedish tax authority and required to invoice moms (consumption tax) on my services in Sweden. If you require your invoice made out to a particular company name, please advise me in advance.

Extra question: How old are you?

Some people want to know how old I am and I am quite open about my age. I was born in 1969 so at the time of writing this, I am 43 years old.

You can read more on the About Ash Rehn page. If you are interested in making an appointment, please contact me by email or phone. I’m happy to answer any further questions you might have.