Tag: Culture

  • Working in Sweden: How Expats Handle Work Stress and Feel Seen

    Working in Sweden: How Expats Handle Work Stress and Feel Seen

    Feel invisible working in Sweden? You’re not alone. Here’s how to stay grounded, navigate cultural norms, and reconnect with your sense of self.

    You’ve landed your job, sorted your personnummer, and even mastered the subtle art of queueing in Swedish supermarkets. But at work? Things feel… off. You’re doing your job well — but somehow, they don’t see you. Not invited to fika chats. Not included in the easy banter. And when you speak up, your ideas seem to fall flat or get brushed aside.

    For many expats and foreign-born professionals in Sweden, the workplace can feel like a polite but impenetrable fog. This isn’t just about language — it’s about invisible norms, indirect feedback, unspoken expectations, and a cultural preference for low-key everything. If you’ve ever felt like you’re technically included but not really belonging, you’re not alone.

    Let’s unpack why this happens. Let’s consider what you can do to stay grounded, connected, and confident while working in Sweden in a system that might not see you as clearly as you’d like.

    1. A Culture of Consensus — and What It Doesn’t Say

    Swedish workplaces are known for their “flat hierarchies,” where the boss is more of a facilitator than a dictator, and decisions are made through group consensus. On paper, this sounds wonderfully egalitarian — but in practice, it can leave newcomers confused and out of sync.

    A woman with dreadlocks working on an imac beside a man who is also working in Sweden

    You’re unlikely to be given direct instructions or open praise while working in Sweden. This is not manipulation or coercive control. Feedback tends to be indirect, sometimes cloaked in silence. In meetings, people pause a lot. They speak softly. They leave long gaps. And if you come from a more direct or expressive work culture, you might read this as passive, dismissive, or even cold.

    The result? You might start second-guessing yourself — “Did I say too much?” “Was I too assertive?” “Did I just overstep?”

    This isn’t about doing it wrong — it’s about operating within an unfamiliar social grammar.

    Try this: Instead of trying to match Swedish indirectness, aim for respectful clarity. Express your ideas with warmth and openness, and then invite feedback gently. For example: “I have an idea I’d love your thoughts on…”

    2. When You Feel Like You’re Not Really There

    You might be showing up to work every day — contributing, collaborating, keeping pace — and still feel oddly invisible. It’s a kind of quiet exclusion, not always intentional, but real enough. You’re not being mistreated, but you’re also not quite part of the fabric.

    According to a BBC report, burnout and work stress in Sweden is on the rise. For many navigating expat work stress in Sweden, this sense of being on the outside looking in can build slowly. It’s not about one big moment, but a series of small silences. When they speak over you. When they don’t respond to your suggestions. When you realise you haven’t had a proper chat with anyone in days.

    Swedish work culture prizes independence and understatement. That means Swedes often save social energy for outside work hours, and even then, relationships take time. So if you’re feeling left out, know this: it’s not your fault — and you’re not alone.

    Try this: Don’t interpret distance as disapproval. Instead of withdrawing, consider gently naming what you’re noticing with someone you trust: “I’ve been trying to get to know people, but it’s been tricky. How do you usually build relationships here?”

    This is where therapy or coaching can help — not by fixing you, but by giving you a space to hear yourself think. As a counsellor, I often assist people feeling adrift while working in Sweden. Rumination, or overthinking, can actually create more stress. Whether you’re based in Stockholm or working remotely from elsewhere in Europe, having a sounding board — someone who listens with empathy and helps you make sense of what’s happening — can be a lifeline.

    3. The Social Side of Working in Sweden — And Why Fika Isn’t Just Coffee

    A group of colleagues working in Sweden at a table having fika together

    On the surface, fika is a coffee break — maybe with a cinnamon bun, maybe with some small talk. But beneath that, it’s a social ritual. It’s where Swedes build trust, bond, and — let’s be honest — some of the real decision-making happens.

    But for newcomers, fika can be confusing. You’re not always sure they are inviting you. You might feel like you’re intruding. You might sit down, then realise no one really talks to you.

    Understanding cultural differences in relationships is important. In a culture where emotional energy is often subtle, fika is paradoxically both low-pressure and high-stakes. It can be where you start to feel connected — or more left out than ever.

    Try this: Shift your goal from belonging to simply showing up. You don’t have to perform, just be present. Ask a question. Share something small. Familiarity, not flashiness, builds connection over time.

    In cities like Uppsala or Malmö, where international workers are common but social structures remain tight, these small acts of consistency help you ease into connection, on your own terms.

    4. Staying Grounded When You’re Questioning Your Value

    When your input is overlooked and your social cues don’t land, you may begin to question your value. This is especially true for foreigners working in Sweden who are navigating workplace silence.

    The danger is that you begin to shrink: you stop offering ideas, start editing yourself, and eventually retreat emotionally. It’s a quiet erosion of confidence.

    Try this: Anchor yourself in what you know to be true. Write down your values, your strengths, the things others have appreciated in you. These are reminders of your professional identity — they’re not up for negotiation.

    A group of colleagues working in Sweden sitting around a table while their workmate with red hair stands in the foreground.

    This is often the turning point when people seek therapy or coaching. Through regular conversations, I help clients rediscover their inner reference point. I offer encouragement and reflection, not performance tips. Just a place to reconnect with yourself.

    5. You Don’t Have to Fix Yourself to Fit In

    Sometimes the loudest message isn’t spoken: it’s the quiet pressure to adapt, to adjust, to tone yourself down. But adaptation is not the same as self-erasure.

    When working in Sweden, the ideal of ‘lagom’ — not too much, not too little but ‘normal’ — can feel hard to achieve. But you don’t have to erase your energy or personality to survive here.

    Try this: Think about how you can translate yourself, rather than change yourself. What environments support your confidence? What kinds of interactions give you energy?

    Whether you’re based in a startup in Gothenburg or working freelance from home, your sense of belonging doesn’t have to depend on others’ approval. It can grow from the inside out — with a little support.

    Final Thoughts: Finding Your Place Working in Sweden Without Losing Yourself

    You may have started working in Sweden with curiosity and hope, only to find yourself feeling invisible at your job. You’re not imagining it, and you’re not overreacting. Cultural norms can be subtle but powerful — and they affect how we see ourselves.

    Whether you’re navigating expat work stress in Sweden, trying to understand Swedish work culture, or just needing a safe space to process what’s happening, know this: you don’t have to figure it all out alone.

    I offer online counselling and coaching in English to individuals living across Sweden and Europe. Whether you’re in Malmö, Stockholm, Gothenburg or Uppsala, I’m here to help you reconnect with your confidence, find language for what you’re experiencing, and move forward with clarity.

    Try this: Book a consultation today. Let’s talk about what you’re facing — and explore what might feel possible next.

  • Adjustment to Life in Sweden and Therapy in English

    Adjustment to Life in Sweden and Therapy in English

    For most expats, relocating to Sweden means adjusting to a different culture. Reactions associated with the stress, uncertainty and the upheaval of relocation to another culture are very common for those from English speaking countries. These reactions can include experiences of anxiety, withdrawal, low mood, depression and other mental health difficulties.

    In my therapeutic work with people who have moved to Sweden, we often talk about how unexpected these reactions were. After all, Sweden appears to be an orderly place and most people, particularly younger people and those Swedes living in the large cities, speak English. At first it was easy to imagine that life here could be easy and that it would not take long to settle in.

    But the expats I talk with tell me they were unprepared for the differences in culture and climate they encountered. They describe low mood, difficulty sleeping, anxious thoughts or constant worries as well as the impact of such feelings on their relationship with partners.

    Some people confess a lack of energy or enthusiasm or say they are finding it hard to enjoy life. Some people increase their use of alcohol to help them manage these feelings then find drinking causes further problems or takes them away from what they want from life. Occasionally people tell me they have an unexplained sense of panic they want help to overcome.

    So what can you do if you are experiencing difficulty adjusting to life in Sweden?

    5 Ways to Take Action and Get Help to Adjust to Living in Sweden

    If you are struggling with feelings associated with depression or anxiety after moving to Sweden, here are a few things to keep in mind.

    1. Share your feelings

    Talk about your feelings instead of bottling them up. Trying to contain or hide emotions can be useful at times but, when they aren’t released, emotions can become explosive or leak out in inappropriate situations.

    2. Connect with others

    Talking to your girlfriend or boyfriend or sambo might not be enough. The emotions around cultural adjustment can also be a pressure on relationships so it is important to share your experiences with people other than your partner. The language barrier can be difficult but there are also a number expat groups, particularly in Stockholm. Remember that there are plenty of others who have been through similar hard times after moving to Sweden and if you can connect with them it can be helpful to hear other perspectives on how to make it through.

    3. Exercise regularly

    Particularly as it gets colder, the freezing temperatures and darkness can have us slowing down, staying inside and not being as active. But thoughts and emotions and even sleeping patterns can be positively affected by physical activity. Whether it is bodypump or working out at the gym, football, a regular yoga class, swimming or just a long, brisk walk everyday, keeping up exercise can help.

    4. Try to find balance

    If you are indoors a lot, make sure you get outside regularly. If you are only spending time with your partner or on your own, make an effort to engage with others. If you are working or studying, give yourself some downtime doing things that are fun or relaxing. If you aren’t working or studying, look into some volunteer work to give yourself a regular meaningful activity.

    Trying to adjust to a new culture sometimes has us putting most of our energy into the familiar aspects of our lives but this can result in imbalance. Generally, the Swedes understand balance through the concept of ‘lagom’ and will be more understanding if you tell them you are trying to find balance in your life.

    5. Do something today and stop delaying

    The most important thing, in my professional experience, is to start to take action right now and not just hope the feelings will go away. They might go away, in time, but they are more likely to disappear when you are expressing how you feel, involved in activities with others and looking after your body and mind.

    If you are stuck, meeting with a counsellor, coach or therapist is one way to get on track with the changes you are making. Make a start today on doing something to improve your life in Sweden. Call me now on 08- 559 22 636 or send an email through the contact page. Usually we can meet within a week.