How to Reduce Rumination and Stress by Doing More and Thinking Less

Man in Blue Hoody walking through a field
Taking a brisk walk in nature can help you let go of your worries

Ruminating. Catastrophising. Panicking. All describe the breakdown of logical reasoning that happens when we are in such a state of anxiety that our thinking is paralysed. So how is it possible to stop going over and over a source of worry? The answer isn’t more thinking, it’s more doing.

Why Can’t I Stop Thinking and Switch Off My Brain?

The coronavirus has most of the world on edge. It’s limiting our possibilities for movement and making our lives even less predictable challenging us to manage our mental health. And in the social distancing of these new conditions, some find themselves alone and obsessively thinking about the same things over and over, causing them to feel physically sick with worry or having a panic attack. My English speaking clients in this situation plead with me, How can I change my thoughts?

But the key lies not in changing thoughts but changing activities. When a person’s physical stress response is so high, the logical reasoning part of the brain fails and the survival part of the brain kicks in. This is the legacy of our evolution, an animal instinct to withdraw, like crawling back into a shell for protection. Unfortunately when humans withdraw they stop participating in activities that benefit them such as engaging with others and physical movement.

Those of us who have been conditioned by work that uses our brains in preference to our whole bodies try to think-through and problem-solve unpleasant feelings instead of addressing them directly through physical means. But the best way to lower the acute stress response is to get physical and use more of the whole body, not just that little part of the brain behind the forehead that is responsible for cognition (thinking, judging and problem solving).

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How to Escape the Isolation Chamber of Rumination

Ruminating on a problem without the benefit of more information or a different perspective is akin to trying to make a decision from inside an isolation chamber: we have to get out and experience the world through the senses. The solution to rumination and catastrophising isn’t more thinking, it’s more doing. And specifically doing activities that engage the senses. Not only will doing something physical help you to relax, it will loosen up your thinking and help you gain perspective.

Exercise is the obvious first go-to. I don’t recommend high-intensity exercise for stress reduction because it can spike the sympathetic nervous system that is responsible for elevating the body’s stress response. But moderate intensity exercise such as brisk walking, light jogging, kicking a ball around, moderate swimming or dancing can help a person to get out of their head and into the body. These activities will help relax the muscles, releasing physical tension. Even in the middle of winter, many Swedes will go out and walk in the lightest part of the day because they know that moving the body and experiencing the world through different senses is key to lowering the stress response.

The other activities that work well for reducing the stress response are anything that involves hand and eye co-ordination or acts of companionship. Research has indicated that activities involving hand and eye coordination actually repair neural pathways. Sharing time with friends who are experiencing a lower stress response can actually reduce your own anxiety. So what does this look like in practical terms?

Strategies to Treat Acute Stress Response

I’m aware that those who have recently moved to Sweden or other foreign countries do not always have much living space or many friends. So hobbies like car restoration, carpentry or bee-keeping might not be possible. Here are some suggestions for activities that don’t require a lot of space or capital outlay and that you can do alone…

Creative activities that engage the hands and eyes will help you relax and also assist with anxiety and depression. For example: painting, drawing, photography, jewelry making, building things with lego or completing jigsaws, podcasting, making Youtube videos or creative writing. Hobbies like video-gaming, geocaching, collecting antiques, coins, toys or memorabilia, playing chess (even against a computer), learning to program, code or make apps, sewing, knitting, making clothes, cooking, genealogy, learning and playing a musical instrument or learning a language could also take your mind off your worries. If you only have your work or relationship to think about, is it any surprise that your mind has nowhere else to go?

Then there are relaxation treatments such as getting a massage, enjoying a floatation tank, playing with pets (your own or someone else’s), walking in nature, colouring-in books or watching comedy videos on a streaming service. Chilling out is a great way to lower stress response.

And thirdly the companionship of spending time with friends and reaching out to someone you love like a son or daughter or cousin or long-term friend, even if they are in another country, can lead you to feel better. Physically or virtually not being alone is beneficial and it’s amazing how showing interest in someone else can assist you to get out of your head. Try it!

Superman figurine standing in a broken half eggshell

Finally, if you are so stressed up that you are unable to exercise or get into a hobby or reach out to a friend or family member, consider consultating a doctor at the Vårdcentral about medication to assist in the first instance. Some people self-medicate with alcohol or recreational drugs but it is better to get professional support to assist you until you are able to take more steps on your own. Any form of medication is only a short-term fix and does not address the cause of anxiety. The use of prescription medication needs to be monitored by a medically qualified person.

If, after lowering your stress response, you still have a problem that needs to be solved, you can talk to a professional therapist who can guide you through problem-solving strategies.

To make an appointment for coaching, advice, support or therapy, please contact me.

“Tools for Better Living”: 6 English Speaking Coaching Sessions for Expats in Stockholm and across Sweden

This fall I’m offering a flexible course that combines both coaching and counselling in a short series of consultations. These sessions are designed specifically for expats and other English speakers seeking direction. Are you looking for some tools for dealing with change or adjustment? Interested in taking a series of sessions to kick-start your motivation? Read on!

Those of us who have been expats in Stockholm for a number of years know the winters can be tough. Swedes know it too and, although most of them have grown up with the darkness and cold that comes with a Swedish winter, many still struggle. Whether you are in your first few years of living in Scandinavia, or you have lived here all your life, there is good sense in using the autumn to prepare psychologically and emotionally for what is to come.

6 Sessions of Coaching or Counselling, 5 Suggested Themes

This series combines the approaches of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Narrative Therapy, Motivational Interviewing, Life Coaching, Relaxation Strategies, Skills Training (including Stress Management and Communication Training) and Mindfulness. I’ve based it around a presentation of the most common psychological tools I use in my practice but will tailor it to suit your circumstances.

My approach is based on the idea that, through conversation based meetings, we develop ideas and strategies together that neither one of us might have envisaged using before. In this way, you bring your skills and knowledge as a contribution to the sessions and I also introduce theories and tools as possibilities for you to start using. Of course all the sessions and everything you say to me is confidential.

The plan below is a guide only and we can modify it according to your needs.

Want to know more already? Email me!

#1   Who Am I?

Our sense of identity can be quite important to how we manage in new situations or cope with change. Who are you and what has contributed to your sense of yourself, particularly since you moved to Sweden?

The first appointment is a kind of assessment where together we discuss what you would like to cover in the course of sessions and share whatever aspects of your story you would like to tell me. You also have the opportunity to ask me any questions you would like answered. At the end of the session I can give you an interesting identity-based task to take away and complete in your own time, if you like. ‘Homework’ is always optional. Some people want it and some don’t, so you can make the choice.

If you would like to know more about me in advance, read the About Ash Rehn page on this website. And I welcome you to contact me prior to the session if you would like to know anything more about me. It is important that we can work together and for you to feel a sense of comfort during our meetings.

#2   Recovering Energy, Motivation and Establishing Routines

It is not unusual for people to want to meet with a coach or therapist when they are at, or have been at, a low ebb. I’m used to seeing people struggling with motivation, lacking energy or feeling like they have failed. At the same time, it is not always that way. It can be more like chaos that needs sorting out. So part of our work together might be looking at what you want or what you appreciate about your life or what you need. Sometimes this involves considering your ‘vision’ for life. Sometimes people feel stuck, sometimes they feel lost, sometimes they just want me to help them sort through ‘stuff’ or ‘issues’. Whatever the case is, we can discuss it together.

#3   Managing Stress, Coping and Empowerment Strategies

How you deal with change often depends on your past experiences, the techniques you have learned or the resources you have at hand. In our sessions we can consider the skills you are using now as well as what you might need to recover or discover. If you are caught in some Mind Traps (cognitive distortions in thinking) we can identify these and determine alternative psychological strategies to help you escape or re-establish balance. I can also show you some physical practices you can use at any time to reduce anxiety and your stress response.

#4   Career / Relationships / Friendships / Family: Planning and Goal Setting

Would you like to show me what your life looks like now and what your ideal life would be? Often this can be a way of envisaging the future as well. Collaborative consultations can offer the first steps forward to making changes across a number of the aspects of our lives. Together we can explore changes you want to make in any or all of these areas and what might be required for moving forward. It tends to be much easier to do this in collaboration.

#5   Improved Communication for Relationships

Frustration and Anger are two of the most common emotions I discuss with people who meet me in Stockholm or online. If our needs are not being met, we can find our emotions about certain events and incidents spilling into other aspects of our life. And that affects our relationships. Taking an alternative approach to your standard way of communicating is one way to lower the frustration you are experiencing. I can show you some other possibilities and we can practice these in the sessions.

#6   Awareness, Acknowledgement, Acceptance and Building Resilience

It is not generally possible to change everything overnight. Meeting and having a conversation about what concerns you can also be a way of tapping into some other perspectives. Part of this work is about holding onto what you have learned or discovered. Part of the coaching can even include awareness-building techniques like Mindfulness. In these 6 sessions, I offer a start to a process that can take you in new directions. You might decide to continue with something new we discover together during our work or you might even decide to continue with me. With your permission, I will follow up by email at least twice over the 2 months following the series. If you want to continue, we can discuss the possibilities to keep going, what you have achieved and what might remain outstanding.

Pay as You Go or Save with a Package of Sessions

This flexible course is offered as pay as you go or you can receive 6 sessions for the cost of 5 if you pre-pay the series. You can attend just the first session and decide if you want to continue with no obligation to pay for more. You are welcome to decide a few days after the first appointment whether you want to pay for the whole series or pay as you go. I do ask for a deposit of 200 crowns for the first appointment but you have 7 days from the session to pay for the balance. Please contact me for further details of the fee.

No Guarantees or False Promises, but Possibilities, Opportunities and Open Dialogue

It would be quite unethical of me to make false promises about how successful this short series of appointments will be for you, particularly when I have not yet met you. So I don’t offer a guarantee that you will achieve everything you ever hoped for in just 6 sessions. But I do offer to be fully present with you for the sessions and to work collaboratively with you in ways you find comfortable.

It is my professional experience that once people start talking, what they are struggling with often changes or even dissolves. It does not happen at the same pace for everyone, but making a start will give you a better understanding of what might be required. I have chosen a framework of 6 sessions as many people find this is just enough to launch them into self-sufficiency. The relief of talking to a professional in a confidential setting can be influential, as can the possibilities for dialogue, acknowledgement, exploration and even confession.

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Ash Rehn QindsmBook Now to Secure Appointment Times

  • A limited number of these sessions are now available daytimes and evenings during September and October.
  • Sessions are available both in-person ‘face to face’ in Stockholm and ‘face to face’ by Skype webcam (or audio-only if you prefer).
  • Possibilities for continuing include the option of email counselling once the course is concluded.

Make an enquiry about available times and fees now through my contact page.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Ash Rehn BSocWk, MA, MAASW (acc.)