English Speaking Therapist | Forward Therapy Stockholm

Tag: Gothenburg

  • Working in Sweden: How Expats Handle Work Stress and Feel Seen

    Working in Sweden: How Expats Handle Work Stress and Feel Seen

    Feel invisible working in Sweden? You’re not alone. Here’s how to stay grounded, navigate cultural norms, and reconnect with your sense of self.

    You’ve landed your job, sorted your personnummer, and even mastered the subtle art of queueing in Swedish supermarkets. But at work? Things feel… off. You’re doing your job well — but somehow, they don’t see you. Not invited to fika chats. Not included in the easy banter. And when you speak up, your ideas seem to fall flat or get brushed aside.

    For many expats and foreign-born professionals in Sweden, the workplace can feel like a polite but impenetrable fog. This isn’t just about language — it’s about invisible norms, indirect feedback, unspoken expectations, and a cultural preference for low-key everything. If you’ve ever felt like you’re technically included but not really belonging, you’re not alone.

    Let’s unpack why this happens. Let’s consider what you can do to stay grounded, connected, and confident while working in Sweden in a system that might not see you as clearly as you’d like.

    1. A Culture of Consensus — and What It Doesn’t Say

    Swedish workplaces are known for their “flat hierarchies,” where the boss is more of a facilitator than a dictator, and decisions are made through group consensus. On paper, this sounds wonderfully egalitarian — but in practice, it can leave newcomers confused and out of sync.

    A woman with dreadlocks working on an imac beside a man who is also working in Sweden

    You’re unlikely to be given direct instructions or open praise while working in Sweden. This is not manipulation or coercive control. Feedback tends to be indirect, sometimes cloaked in silence. In meetings, people pause a lot. They speak softly. They leave long gaps. And if you come from a more direct or expressive work culture, you might read this as passive, dismissive, or even cold.

    The result? You might start second-guessing yourself — “Did I say too much?” “Was I too assertive?” “Did I just overstep?”

    This isn’t about doing it wrong — it’s about operating within an unfamiliar social grammar.

    Try this: Instead of trying to match Swedish indirectness, aim for respectful clarity. Express your ideas with warmth and openness, and then invite feedback gently. For example: “I have an idea I’d love your thoughts on…”

    2. When You Feel Like You’re Not Really There

    You might be showing up to work every day — contributing, collaborating, keeping pace — and still feel oddly invisible. It’s a kind of quiet exclusion, not always intentional, but real enough. You’re not being mistreated, but you’re also not quite part of the fabric.

    According to a BBC report, burnout and work stress in Sweden is on the rise. For many navigating expat work stress in Sweden, this sense of being on the outside looking in can build slowly. It’s not about one big moment, but a series of small silences. When they speak over you. When they don’t respond to your suggestions. When you realise you haven’t had a proper chat with anyone in days.

    Swedish work culture prizes independence and understatement. That means Swedes often save social energy for outside work hours, and even then, relationships take time. So if you’re feeling left out, know this: it’s not your fault — and you’re not alone.

    Try this: Don’t interpret distance as disapproval. Instead of withdrawing, consider gently naming what you’re noticing with someone you trust: “I’ve been trying to get to know people, but it’s been tricky. How do you usually build relationships here?”

    This is where therapy or coaching can help — not by fixing you, but by giving you a space to hear yourself think. As a counsellor, I often assist people feeling adrift while working in Sweden. Rumination, or overthinking, can actually create more stress. Whether you’re based in Stockholm or working remotely from elsewhere in Europe, having a sounding board — someone who listens with empathy and helps you make sense of what’s happening — can be a lifeline.

    3. The Social Side of Working in Sweden — And Why Fika Isn’t Just Coffee

    A group of colleagues working in Sweden at a table having fika together

    On the surface, fika is a coffee break — maybe with a cinnamon bun, maybe with some small talk. But beneath that, it’s a social ritual. It’s where Swedes build trust, bond, and — let’s be honest — some of the real decision-making happens.

    But for newcomers, fika can be confusing. You’re not always sure they are inviting you. You might feel like you’re intruding. You might sit down, then realise no one really talks to you.

    Understanding cultural differences in relationships is important. In a culture where emotional energy is often subtle, fika is paradoxically both low-pressure and high-stakes. It can be where you start to feel connected — or more left out than ever.

    Try this: Shift your goal from belonging to simply showing up. You don’t have to perform, just be present. Ask a question. Share something small. Familiarity, not flashiness, builds connection over time.

    In cities like Uppsala or Malmö, where international workers are common but social structures remain tight, these small acts of consistency help you ease into connection, on your own terms.

    4. Staying Grounded When You’re Questioning Your Value

    When your input is overlooked and your social cues don’t land, you may begin to question your value. This is especially true for foreigners working in Sweden who are navigating workplace silence.

    The danger is that you begin to shrink: you stop offering ideas, start editing yourself, and eventually retreat emotionally. It’s a quiet erosion of confidence.

    Try this: Anchor yourself in what you know to be true. Write down your values, your strengths, the things others have appreciated in you. These are reminders of your professional identity — they’re not up for negotiation.

    A group of colleagues working in Sweden sitting around a table while their workmate with red hair stands in the foreground.

    This is often the turning point when people seek therapy or coaching. Through regular conversations, I help clients rediscover their inner reference point. I offer encouragement and reflection, not performance tips. Just a place to reconnect with yourself.

    5. You Don’t Have to Fix Yourself to Fit In

    Sometimes the loudest message isn’t spoken: it’s the quiet pressure to adapt, to adjust, to tone yourself down. But adaptation is not the same as self-erasure.

    When working in Sweden, the ideal of ‘lagom’ — not too much, not too little but ‘normal’ — can feel hard to achieve. But you don’t have to erase your energy or personality to survive here.

    Try this: Think about how you can translate yourself, rather than change yourself. What environments support your confidence? What kinds of interactions give you energy?

    Whether you’re based in a startup in Gothenburg or working freelance from home, your sense of belonging doesn’t have to depend on others’ approval. It can grow from the inside out — with a little support.

    Final Thoughts: Finding Your Place Working in Sweden Without Losing Yourself

    You may have started working in Sweden with curiosity and hope, only to find yourself feeling invisible at your job. You’re not imagining it, and you’re not overreacting. Cultural norms can be subtle but powerful — and they affect how we see ourselves.

    Whether you’re navigating expat work stress in Sweden, trying to understand Swedish work culture, or just needing a safe space to process what’s happening, know this: you don’t have to figure it all out alone.

    I offer online counselling and coaching in English to individuals living across Sweden and Europe. Whether you’re in Malmö, Stockholm, Gothenburg or Uppsala, I’m here to help you reconnect with your confidence, find language for what you’re experiencing, and move forward with clarity.

    Book a Session

    Try this: Book a consultation today. Let’s talk about what you’re facing — and explore what might feel possible next.

  • Keep Your Head: Managing Mental Health During Coronavirus in Sweden

    Keep Your Head: Managing Mental Health During Coronavirus in Sweden

    Mental Health has become a buzzword expression around the world since the COVID19 pandemic began. When regulations and public health advice keeps us socially distant, how can go about managing mental health during Coronavirus to keep it together?

    The coronavirus COVID-19 is a source of stress for many English speakers in Sweden. While health authorities in the UK, Australia and San Francisco enact policies such as of ‘lock-down’, containment, quarantine and ‘shelter-in-place’, the Swedish government proceeds with a business-as-usual approach, emphasising personal freedom and relying on the Swedish culture of collective responsibility. Expats and other English speakers immigrants in Stockholm, Gothenburg and Malmo are understandably worried. When your adopted country follows a policy dramatically different to most others and at odds with many scientists it makes sense that you might feel vulnerable.

    Request a counselling appointment over video or phone

    If you are alone, confused and unsure what to do, the first thing is to focus on what is within your control and let go of what isn’t. That’s part of what I call ‘keeping your head’. Everybody has the capacity to lower their own stress response, although knowing this isn’t enough. We start by becoming aware of what is going on in the body and then act to change how we feel. That takes practice but it is your first step in managing mental health during Coronavirus.

    Symptoms of Coronavirus Pandemic Stress

    Both irritability and withdrawal from contact with others are common signs of acute stress and declining mental health. These parallel the ‘fight or flight’ response that has evolved to protect us. You might be experiencing one or the other or both. The usual symptoms of anxiety and depression – difficulties with concentration or memory, restlessness, panic, a sense of hopelessness or doom, sadness and feelings of worthlessness – might also be present. If you take the time, you will notice their corresponding sensations.

    Take a few moments now to sit in silence and notice what is happening in your body. Where do you feel tension? How busy are your thoughts? What sensations do you feel when you pay attention to your breath or your heartbeat? Try this 3 minute STOP technique to ground to the present moment and recover your awareness.

    Forgetfulness, trouble focusing and an inability to solve problems or know what to do are signs that anxiety has affected your cognition. The Acute Stress Response (also known as ‘Fight or Flight’) has another manifestation: Freeze. This is the kind of paralysis of both thought and action we might experience when a stressor starts to shut down cognitive functioning. To the body, it’s the same phenomenon as an animal might experience when suddenly confronted, like a deer that freezes at the realisation it has been seen or the ‘rabbit-in-the-headlights’ response of a beast on a road at night. When a stressor becomes overwhelming, our capacity to reason and use logic drops away and our animal self reacts in self-protection.

    The Importance of Self Care and Managing Mental Health during Coronavirus

    I work with expats and English speakers around the world and have noticed the impact to mental health is similar whether the person is in Birmingham, Bahrain or Beijing. People are on edge with the ongoing changes to public health ‘rules’ as well as the uncertainty about the virus itself. Many are WTF (working from home), whether by choice or obligation, and this is putting pressure on relationships and disrupting well-being routines that were taken for granted. Even those in the ‘open’ cities of Sweden – Stockholm, Gothenburg, Malmo, Uppsala – are struggling emotionally and physically. As much as the government campaigns might try to convince us otherwise, the coronavirus pandemic and ‘social distancing’ divides us, it doesn’t bring us together. We have to work at staying connected, while managing mental health during Coronavirus, and that takes energy.

    The 5 Fundamentals of Well-Being are:

    1. Adequate sleep;
    2. Regular, nutritious meals;
    3. Regular exercise;
    4. A balance between work, rest and play;
    5. The opportunity to talk about problems.

    How many of those can you tick off? Checking in with yourself is just as, if not more, important as connecting with others. To know what you need from others, you first need to have good contact with yourself. If you have noticed things don’t feel right, take some time to listen to your sensations and see if you recognise your emotional state. You might like to try one of these self-compassion exercises. Your body can guide you to what is important right now. Listening to your body is the first step to keeping your head. And if you are struggling with knowing what you need, a conversation with a supportive professional can help.

    To make an appointment or find out more about my services, contact me.

  • After-Hours Counselling for Expats, Nightowls and Early Birds (in English!)

    After-Hours Counselling for Expats, Nightowls and Early Birds (in English!)

    After-hours counselling and therapy in Stockholm, Gothenburg and Malmo is hard enough to find for locals. And the few English speaking psychology services available in Sweden also tend to operate during business hours. Online therapy and counselling is a perfect way for expats in Sweden to fit in a private consultation before work or when settling down for the evening.

    Your Body-Clock: Are You an Early-bird or a Night-Owl?

    We all have our own body-clock, sleep patterns and energy rhythms. Some are early risers, getting out of bed at 5 in the morning and using the time to do their own thing or to arrive at the office before everyone else. Some are ‘night-owls’ (I work with a lot of night-owls) who stay up to all hours of the evening online surfing the net, using social media, sending emails watching tv or reading books.

    There are times when our preferred sleeping and waking patterns seem to clash with work schedules or the seasons. Nowhere is this truer than in the nordic countries, which have such extreme differences of daylight between the summer and winter months. A lot of expats, for example, find they have trouble sleeping when they come to Stockholm. The extra light in summer can leave them feeling over-tired while the darkness of winter leads to restlessness. But if staying up later or starting the day earlier than the average person suits you, why not use the time productively?

    During winter months, from October to May, I have consultations with my ‘night-owls’ starting at 9pm (21:00) Central European time and even later. For many of my clients, this is the perfect time to talk about what is troubling them or to find ways forward with what they are trying to achieve. But not everyone wants to stay up late. Earlybirds are welcome to book a time from the early hours of the morning in winter (even as early as 5am) up until 8:45am. Some people choose to go into work a little later in the morning in winter, and starting with a coffee and chat on webcam provides a good way to get focussed too. My online clients appreciate being able to talk with an English speaking therapist outside business hours.

    The Advantage & Benefits of After-Hours Counselling for Expats in Europe

    Privacy is the first thing that comes to mind for many people when booking an appointment online. I’ve worked with many individuals in high profile careers and quite a few celebrities as well. Being able to discuss personal concerns with a guarantee of confidentiality is a distinct advantage of meeting with a professional therapist over webcam. There is no clinic to attend, no waiting room, no need to explain to colleagues and no way to be seen publicly. You can meet from an office or your own room at home. I don’t just work with people in Stockholm or Sweden this way, but expats in Paris, Geneva, Berlin, London, Madrid and Copenhagen as well as cities in Asia and the Middle East.

    Meeting with a therapist online also means efficiency for the time poor and busy. Many of my clients in Stockholm have young children, and making an appointment at 9pm or later means they can put the little people to bed before we start talking. The advantages of after-hours counselling later in the evening extend to not having to cancel when something urgent comes up on the job and they have to stay back a couple of hours. The early birds say that having a counselling session in the morning helps them to offload some stress and emotion before they start work. Not having to travel to a counselling practice saves time.

    Finally, years of working as a counsellor in person has demonstrated to me that crossing the initial threshold to the therapy room is the hardest step for many people. I know a lot of you who are reading this blog will delay coming to see me, sometimes for up to 6 months or more. You might even be unsure how to choose a therapist. My advice to you is to bite the bullet and start now. You will probably feel better sooner if you start sooner. Contact me now and let me know you want to make an appointment. Online counselling and therapy is convenient.

    Online psychology: Accessing Experience, Intuition and Wise-Counsel

    When I was studying mindfulness meditation, one of my teacher explained a model of decision making that has been effective for me ever since. He said we can draw on 3 sources:

    • Our own Experience
    • Our Intuition
    • The Counsel of the Wise

    I’d say the purpose of talk therapy is to help you connect with all 3. We can discuss what you have learned from your life to date. We can talk about your gut-feelings and what those are telling you (and how to make more sense of your emotions). And you are welcome to ask my advice or join me in exploring the advice of others. This can involve conversations about other advice-givers, self-help ‘sages’ or what I call Experience-Consultants: those who have already been through similar experiences and life journeys.

    You don’t have to do any of this alone. Whatever you are struggling with – counselling for a relationship, for separation or divorce, mood swings, anxiety, ongoing depression or adjustment to life in Sweden – talking it through can help. No matter if you are in a large city like Stockholm or Malmo, or a smaller town like Lund or Umeå (or even another city in mainland Europe), you can access therapeutic conversations at a time convenient to you. From October to May, I am available for after-hours counselling late evenings and early mornings (between 9pm – 9am), especially for the night-owls and early birds. Take a look at my online options.

    If you want to know more about after-hours counselling, or you are ready to make an appointment, send me an email.

    And if you think someone else might benefit from this post, please share it on Twitter or Facebook today.

  • Life Coaching in English to Turn Your (Swedish) Life Around

    Life Coaching in English to Turn Your (Swedish) Life Around

    Not adjusting to life in Sweden? Worried about your mental health? Can’t concentrate and think you have ADD or ADHD? Struggling with the winter? Don’t let the darkness, Snökaos (snow chaos) or winter blues drive you to depression. Whether you choose to do it in-person or by webcam, you might just need a few sessions of life coaching to get back on track.

    Here’s how therapy and life coaching with an English speaking coach and counsellor might make a difference to life in Sweden.

    Bollplank, Sounding Board or Reflective Surface

    Talking with your partner sometimes is not enough. Sometimes we are just too close to someone to offer a different perspective and it can seem like a lot of pressure if a sambo, husband or wife is the only one to talk with. The Swedes have an expression ‘bollplank’ which in English is akin to ‘sounding board’, someone or something we can throw our thoughts against to test them out. (Literally it is a plank of wood for kicking footballs against). In my work I call it the Reflective Surface.

    There are many ways to employ a reflective surface: some people keep a journal or diary, video blog, artwork, cooking, craft… In fact any activity that combines structure and imagination with a product can provide a means to reflect your identity and ideas back to you in a positive, affirming way that supports change. A conversation can also be a reflective surface. In my office I use a whiteboard which is a literal reflective surface and sometimes I use it to hold onto the expressions or words that come up in a session. But even without the whiteboard, meeting with a coach serves the same ends because you hear yourself saying things and the coach can hold onto your words and ask you about them. A life coach can help with:

    • Sharing what has been happening
    • Working out what is important
    • Making goals
    • Following through with intentions
    • Acknowledging and celebrating progress.

    If everything seems to be going well for your partner but not for you, don’t take it out on your sambo. Make it you New Years Resolution to get your own ‘bollplank’ and let the relationship be what it should be.

    Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)

    A lot of people approach me thinking they have ADHD because they can’t concentrate at home or work, or both. And there is a lot of discussion at the moment about ADHD, particularly in Sweden where there is a huge expectation that people are on time, focussed and ‘get with the program’. The norms of behaviour in Sweden are very influential. If you have seen preschoolers being marched around the city in pairs, you will get what I mean. This is a society where, to a large extent, cooperation and compliance are unspoken rules. I mention this because it is important to understand that cultural influence and social expectations can play a part in how we feel and how quickly we adjust.

    But difficulty concentrating can also be a symptom of depression. When we feel low, unmotivated, frustrated or insignificant, it can be harder to stay on task. In a way this is our instinct or animal side at work, trying to get our bodies moving again. Movement and exercise to treat Depression has been recommended.

    Here are some other signs and symptoms that you might not be alright:

    • You are spending all day inside and not going out at all
    • Mood swings or constant irritability
    • Feeling like a zombie or not feeling anything at all
    • Eating constantly and more than you need to (or a loss of appetite)
    • Drinking alcohol everyday or most days on your own
    • Not engaging with friends
    • Ruminating thoughts, ‘overthinking’ and dwelling on failure
    • Less attention to self care or neglecting basic hygiene (not showering, brushing teeth or changing clothes)

    The good news is that you don’t necessarily need a psychologist or to go on medication simply because some of these are present. The benefit of working with me is you can tell your friends / family / sambo that you are seeing a coach for adjusting to life in Sweden. You can even meet me online, over webcam or for instant message counselling if you don’t want to take on the snökaos or you are living in Uppsala, Västerås, Nyköping or otherwise on the outskirts of Stockholm. Likewise if you are in Malmö, Gothenburg or Umeå or somewhere more remote, online coaching means you save the travelling time and can get help from the warmth and comfort of your own home.

    Of course, if you are at any serious risk or your health is deteriorating quickly, you should not hesitate to consult a GP.

    From Therapy for Depression or Adjustment to Coaching for Life Goals

    When life seems to be stuck or falling apart, it can help to talk it over, make a plan and have someone to engage with and help you to monitor progress. A lot of people start to meet with me for therapy around a particular issue and end up feeling better to the point that our sessions become more about coaching and moving forward. Recently I have been speaking with people about:

    If you have found me through ForwardTherapy.se price and cost of coaching might not be your main concern. You are probably more interested in finding a professional who understands what you are going through and offers the advantage of sessions in English. But just send me an email (preferred) or call and leave a message for a callback if you would like more information about my fees and payment options.

    Engelsktalande Samtalsterapeut (English Speaking Counsellor): A Word For Spouses and Sambos

    If you think your partner, wife or husband might benefit from coaching, kognitiv beteende terapi / cognitive behaviour therapy with an english speaking coach (kbt på engelska) or just a bollplank with someone other than yourself, feel free to send me an enquiry. I am used to working with people in relationships where one partner is struggling with culture or climate or relocation adjustment and there is some conflict in the relationship as a result. There is more information here på svenska.

    Next year I will be relocating my office from Kungsholmen to Södermalm in Stockholm. But you can make a start now and put yourself on a better track for 2013. Start making your New Years Resolutions.

    Write to me and I will send you full details of availability, fees and answer any questions you have. Please let me know if you prefer in-person (face to face in Stockholm) or online consultations.